Personal thoughts about broken relationship

Should a person jump into a relationship on the rebound??. Should he/she jump into a relationship just to even up the score? If you can, so can I type of hype.??? Or I'll show you, I do not need you in my life-there are so many out there willing to fill your vacant slot. You do not need to do that! You are alot better than the other person.

When you are in a vulnerable position, you have a tendency to grab hold of anything available -anything that resembles security, no matter how frail. You have the tendency to make appearance work, the false pride rises to the fore. You are  so bent on showing the world that you are doing all right that very often you jump into something, you should really avoid-because that will leave you more broken after  it ends. Sad reality is that- it will end, but not the happy ending as you expected. There are plenty of vultures out there ready to pick out your flesh. They know you need them in your weaken state-most probably imagine yourself in love with them too and will they take advantage of you-ya, make mince meat out of you. I personally knew a lovely girl, an ex-office mate, she was divorced . Unfortunately, she poured out her whole heart to a waiting "beau" ( a Nigerian) . Man! did he make full use of her. She supported him financially, she rented an apartment as their love nest. She gave him everything, medical expenses and he wanted high end health care. She even bought  him a car. She borrowed from just about everyone for him (that's how we came to know of her sad story) All he gave her (or was it more exploitation) was sex at his leisure. When he had enough of her, he just disappeared to Thailand. She was left to pick up the pieces again and of course work overtime to repay all the debts she accumulated. I was so sorry for her and till this day, I have a profound dislike for Nigerians, until my friends tell me, I was not being fair- that was just one big bad apple- but the moral of the story is.....

For those out there  suffering from a broken relationship. Give yourself a breather.  Be aware that everyone make mistakes. Whether you come out of your mistakes stronger and a winner, depends very much on yourself. Hell, to what others think. Others have fallen more than you will ever know. HEAL YOURSELF first. Stabilise your emotions, stabilise the very grounds you walk on. If you need a new career, get one - for a time, at least, keep yourself, very busy-turn your focus to work. Keep your finances stable. You will need your funds. If an man ask you for money in return for emotional support-kick him out!  A responsible man will never do that!!!Forget about the man/woman relationship for a while.Give yourself space-the time to think and reflect, go for a holiday-gain energy. . Use the time to rebond with your family and  loved ones. You will need them. And GIVE GOD A CHANCE.

If you are able to do that, you will come out a winner and others will respect you-all the more. So what? You have made a mistake-the relationship was cancerous- you got out of it so  move on, but move on healthy, cheerful and healed. There is a wonderful world out  there. .Build up a new and BETTER life for yourself!

Responsibilities in a relationship is a man's honour.

Should a man provide for his woman and his family? This question has come up over the holiday period. Should a man be a real man, beyond the sexual thing? I'm taking the Asian perspective. I'm looking at it in the Asian context. For Asians, the honour and responsibility of being a good man is being able to provide and take care of his woman-his wife and his family. Some of you may say bah! you are behind times, but people, we are not anywhere in the Western world-Denmark, Sweden, America where women have such a strong mind of their own -perhaps due to their financial ability to do so,but here, in Malaysia -in our Chinese and Asian culture, a good man, a good husband is still somebody who provides and takes good care of his family. The care  list is basically simple- see to the financial, emotional health and needs of the family and home -be the soul mate, the listening ear -the strength and the comfort-be the hope and future of your wife and partner . Some people may leave the spiritual out but to YT Spiritual strength stands tall. God must be in the centre. God must be there and everything will fall into place..

Men- can you be a real man and fulfil that list??? CAN DO???! If any man wants to be in a relationship with a woman and expect his woman, his partner, his" love"  to foot the bill, provide for his wellbeing -he is a scum-irresponsible-garbage!!!

SISTERS-wake up - you cannot survive on fresh air, sunshine and sex alone.You still need to eat.. Sorry to be blunt but you need money for the basic survival and you need to work your butt out to bring in the money. ( Nowadays, in our households, both husbands and wives contribute. That's fine-that's good) But we are talking about something else.  Our society is going "out of marriage" borders and that's where the concern is.

Would you allow anyone no matter who much you love him to live off your blood and your sweat? Remember as a woman , he would still expect you to gratify his sexual needs. Sisters, if you are still asleep-wake up. Get him to provide and care for you as long as the relationship is on and if there are children-out of the relationship- financial support goes beyond .  I personally do not approve of sexual relationship outside marriage but if you are somehow caught in that situation, through a twist of circumstance-I will not be judgemental. Let no one be judgemental. We cannot see what others are going through. But Sisters-do not allow any man to fleece you-if he does- than he is not worthy of your love. Cut ties-start anew= there are plenty of good and strong men out there. It would of course be wise to stay off relationship for a while , while you get back your bearing. You see the good when there is clarity.

It is dangerous to jump into a relationship, which will leave you more broken later. Never ever allow a man to drain you of your financial resources. Never allow him to take away your confidence-amd take advantage of you-just because of the temporal emotional support!! It must come in a genuine, worthy package..You are beautiful, capable and worth a trillion!!Remember that!!

This was a discussion and this was the conclusion we came to- guys. No need to get prickly. Good man fills the earth but there are some bad apples, we would like to warn  our children and our loved ones to steer clear off. Good men out there-as good husbands and fathers, I'm sure you will also agree with our findings and conclusion.. Cheers!!

Sixth Sense

Is there such a thing as sixth sense? A strong compelling sense of warning? When you could like, feel the sadness in another? When a loved one bleeds inside her and cries to herself, and  somehow you could  feel it too? Does sixth sense comes in,  then  to help avert a disaster and bring in healing? When you wake up in the morning and there is this very profound message to pray for another? A persistent whisper that someone is in trouble and needed help?

Again, I ask, is there such a thing as sixth sense? Sometimes it could be pure nerves, a panic attack of sorts, if those dreadful feelings surround someone very close to you and those feelings arose out of pure anxiety and nothing more. But when it involves someone a little further away, a good friend, even family members  like a nephew, niece, uncle, aunt etc..perhaps, it would be wise to pay heed to the "unusual odd feeling", especially if that person had gone through a rough patch and trying to keep balance. A cry for help. Would you ignore the call of a broken heart? Could you at least look beyond her "extreme" behaviour , her harsh words and try to empathise? Maybe that person feels alienated, lost, hurt and yet bravely  moving on. Isn't it time, people around her, people who matters to her, look beneath the hard shell to see the real her; how bruised, she really is  -then surround her like a fortress and lend her strength? Right now, all she needs is understanding, privacy and some space to do her thing. The tempest is still raging within , help her find the calm- be there for her.

This Christmas, my heart is touched by a lovely person, who needs help. She is an amazing  superwomen . Fren, sometimes, us women, must let others take care of us, especially the menfolks. Allow them their responsibilities. You know, Fren, Life is a journey, full of challenges. No one knows exactly how we feel, except ourselves. No one can feel our pain, so we have to be strong for ourselves. There is no one to help us, we've got to scale the mountains by ourselves I do it with the help of God. Don't worry about the religion thing. God is in every religion. Turn to Him. You will be surprised how He  brings peace and  clarity into your life. How he showers the strength for you to move on and in the right direction. If you are ever in trouble, let somebody know. It will ease the burden and the caged in feeling.It will prevent malicious and wicked people from taking advantage of you.

 Everyone goes through rough times. I went through tons but I turn to Him in trust. One bad relationship is not the end of the world. Stand up and show the whole wide world, just how capable and resourceful you are but recognise that you need family members around you. One word for the family members-be understanding and caring and do pray for the people in your lives.

People, it will not take you a minute but it will make a great difference to my good friend Somebody,  if you could send up a little prayer for her that God watches over her and shield her with grace and  protection.

A letter to Santa

Dear Santa,

I have never really ask for anything, but this year, I ask for world peace, I ask for  harmony in my homeland, I ask for grace and protection of this Nation. I ask for the spirit of friendship and oneness among all peoples. I ask for good health, strong bones, genuine friendship, unity and contentment, love  on the homefront. I  ask for freedom from oppression , freedom from the  devious snares of the wicked. I ask for all  hands to join together in solidarity and togetherness. I ask that natural and man made disasters stay away from this Nation. You know Santa, we are into harsh times when everything is so challenging; everything seems in the danger of falling apart-we need stronger cement to fortify the very foundation we stand on. We really need miracles and a touch of SantaLand's  magic and that special grace from above.

Am I asking for too much? But you  are Santa right?  I do not know whether one day time frame is sufficient for yourself and your elves to churn up sufficient love, harmony and friendship sparkles to spread over this beautiful land, I call home, of course the world at large but nevertheless, you have to try Santa, you really have to make it happen. PEACE! Merry Christmas and A Very Happy New Year to one and ALL!!!.

A Smiley thank you Santa! .

Signed :Mother and Citizen