The Tongue and The art of giving Advice

The tongue can do many things. It soothes, comforts, pampers, delights, encourages, bring happiness,creates magical moments, heaven and yet, it could blister and hurt so utterly. Yes, it could send you to hell and give you hell in a split of  a second.

 In one dreadful spat, the tongue could take away the peace of a person and bring in anxieties and sorrow.One roll of the tongue and you could either lose your smile or see sunshine.

 Do not under estimate the power of this small flap of flesh in your mouth. It is a vital and crucial component of you. Without  it you can't express yourself. You cannot speak. You cannot enjoy food  nor know the wonderful  flavours of food and their taste. That vital sense of taste, which promotes, feelings,pleasure is not in place. That, that small member of the body  holds so much power never ceases to  amaze me. Let's talk a little about its power on the roll, flow  and throll of speech.

Smart Alecs  a No, No!!

For instance, someone you know  is  in a tough situation. Do you hasten to offer him/her advise? You must  do this, and this and this??. Later, you notice this person shy away from you;  he/she avoids you.  You wonder why?

Yes, you meant well, but this individual  is already at the  low end perhaps, barely able to keep the emotions balanced.  Your well meaning advices had probably cut them  in the raw. Do you know that sometimes, advice can be pretty judgemental and hurtful? It puts you up there and the needy person below. Do you realise that "well meaning" advices could actually make a person feel small? If you really want to help, invite him/her to sit with you, on the same level.  Remember in such situations, Smart Alecs, are not welcomed , not wanted!!

A heartful hug brings in the comfort. No words needed.  Sometimes silence are more powerful than all the well meaning chatters.

How about a friendly and warm conversation without referring to their misfortunes?   That, could sometimes brings in cautious confidences. Be sure your tongue has all the ingredients of wisdom and  empathy when that moment comes.  Do not go overboard with your sympathies. They would hate that! Rather, (in that break moment) share your own "experiences" and how you overcame your "situation". That is more receptive, pleasing  and comforting to the ears, than the tons of well meaning advices. It brings in the self realisation, Hei, I'm not alone...my friend too went through bad times.  If she could overcome her problems , so can I!! Hope suggested and shared and that becomes a healing balm, gratefully accepted. No barriers to break down, goes straight to the mind. You bring in the realisation and the rest is up to them and more often than not, they follow up with positive actions.