Facing the reality of Sunset

Somebody asked me a question, the very question,  I  had asked myself numerous times before. What made me go back to school when the evening sun is setting? I don't know, I really don't know. I have some ideas, but still, I'm not exactly sure.  Did something triggered that impulse that begun this journey or is it to complete an unfulfilled purpose, ordained by the pen of life? They say, God works in mysterious ways. This , back to school thing. Is it a must travel journey , I cannot avoid? And that leads me to ask myself, what is my next purpose? At the end of it, will it change my landscape, the horizons of living? Will it improve my living at all? What fruits will I harvest?  Was I  right in taking up this challenge? I suppose, I will have to wait for the answers from Time himself.

 I see the clock ticking , faster than years ago, and I tell myself, this particular journey must be completed fast,  else the investment will be lost. To a sunset traveller that is huge investment  for a slice of that cake- mere paper, that neither comes with the surety, nor  the guarantees of time and opportunities to enjoy rich fruits, every graduate expect when they got hold of their trophies.

The young have years ahead of them to enjoy the fruits of their labour. The sunset achievers not only have very limited time but also limited opportunities and they have to work doubly hard and move faster. For them, it is no longer the big bucks but the satisfaction of achievement, the richness of experience and knowledge- knowing within self that they are a worthy component of Life's engines.  Then again, in today's world, with innovation, light does not disappear with the setting sun. You still have the moon and the stars. Neon Lights are everywhere, it only needed a click to turn them on. But you will have to lift that arm to turn on that  switch.  The unfulfilled energy  pushes me to complete my tasks. We are all workers of the Lord, called to work in different vineyards and He expects results.  I'm just very thankful for the many opportunities and  favours, the world smiles upon me. I no longer dash around. I'm just contented to finish what I started, so that nothing goes to waste. I no longer speculate. I now take sure, even steps

I see life as a series of purpose , tasks and mysteries to discover, uncover and  explore -a learning process all the way. The aim is always to  achieve and to attain something. Each step leads to another...everyday, an acquisition of fresh and additional knowledge, a realisation of new things. Life is like a cooking process. You pick your  ingredients,  you chopped it up the way, you  believe to be right. You add in the required seasoning-the spices and salt to taste. Again you have a choice of style, the manner, and the methodology. Stir fry, bake, fried, stew or curry? It is your skills and knowledge that produce a delicious dish or something half cooked and tasteless. If you have done well, keep the pace, continue to explore to create better dishes. If it did not turn out well, examine, dissect to find out why and work to improve. Skills could be improved with knowledge and more practice -age is never a factor. You keep conquering challenges, you keep learning, right till the end.

Ultimately, it is  the belief in self, the courage to keep on moving forward-the willingness to learn and improve-and change if necessary. That makes the difference-a world of difference.

Misgivings.

I've had plenty of time to mull over the immediate and distant past. My  glances had strayed much, over much  to the other side of the fence, the heart troubled- tugged by strange and unexplained longings  which had kept my spirit so restless and unfulfilled all this while. Now as I reflected, and look again, I realise that, that  pasture over the other side, is not all  lush greens. It is not all beautiful. There are also vast emptiness, dryness which needs cultivation, nurturing and  plenty of hard work.. One has to work to beautify. Nothing comes easy; nothing is achievable without  scaling the heights and conquering the challenges. And challenges is what gives life its character and colours. Challenges is something you cannot avoid nor could you escape from. Clearly,I had not spent enough time appreciating my side of the pasture ; which had yielded plenty of good fruits and brought plenty  of good people into my living.

Passion cannot stand on its own without the resourcefulness ,  the determination and  clearly,the support of community and society. Passion cannot thrive without the perseverance, the ability to  complete tasks. Passion must come  with the knowledge, the gift and the destiny.  Neither could the structural frame  firmed and rise up without the support of society's affluent - they who open up opportunities and lend a helping hand to ensure that we progress in the right direction.Many talents go undiscovered , die a quiet death  for the lack of 'angels'. Others, though given plenty of opportunities, still flickered out and vanish into oblivion. Fact is, they are the surface travellers,  their skills lack depth ;insufficient  substance. In the beginning, they appeared promising but time exposed their lack of roots and they shivered up and die away in the challenging heat..

I always believed, my purpose is writing and  I lamented the obstacles and  the many 'stops' which had driven me almost  insane, in days gone past. Bitterness tossed and turned-creating illusionary potholes and the hurts-blurring joys. .

Now I'm not so sure. Purpose for some people is clear and distinct but for some, murky and in need of clarity.  I could have been mistaken. Perhaps,   destiny purposed  something else  for me and   I had totally misconstrued, my  true calling. Perhaps, I 've been deaf  when true purpose  called. I don't know. Then, confusion shackled me.

But I do not obsess after success  any more I'm beyond caring. It is late in the evening. I no longer crave. I've given my best and that is enough. Destiny must destined else the paths cannot bring in the fruits and the harvest. The eyes cannot see, the sight will lack clarity and the steps will falter. .Yearning, longing and the wish list is a pure waste of time. Living the real  and enjoying precious moments in the present and appreciating it , is more important, because you see, ultimately, it is Destiny-The Creator who  decides, directs and give the marks..

Then again, who knows, perhaps my true purpose (only God knows what) is already well done-fulfilled and Destiny  is already well pleased with my results..I've been  blessed with the treasures which comes with a good home. I have journeyed worthily. So many angels surround me. I may not be JK Rowlings but still I'm writing in my own way and loving every minute of it. Money and fame is not everything. It is the satisfaction and joy it gives to the spirit, the heart and the soul.

Perhaps, my true purpose is really just understanding the meaning of life...I don't know but certainly after meeting up with reality,  peace and calm is finally making its way in.

Memories

Just deleted a post. As I dug further, I see more things, just 
as Salman Rushdie mentioned, the fragments somehow brings in the larger picture, larger than you expect. As I see with an adult eye, and reflected on those days gone past, many of my beliefs take on  different shapes-other pictures emerged and somehow the original got trampled beneath. Some of my memories, have been laced with naive beliefs and imagination. To be sure, there were loads of true facts but  other things came in.. Things, I so appreciate in my childhood days, sort of dulls when I begin to dust away the cobwebs. Clearer became something else, which you have to come to terms with. I reckon it is better to leave them high up on their elevated platform.

I prefer not to explore further. I prefer not to see overly much. You may ask why, but those mis - beliefs of yesteryears were really the joys of my childhood days, so why try to dust them  too much . They were beautiful and I would like for them to remain beautiful in my memory.

Now that I know the perils of the underground tour, I have decided to opt out. of the expedition.  Makes no sense, shaking the solid and firm foundation of  yesteryears, when all I heard were happy laughters, love and care.. What do I care if imaginative and childish beliefs littered the foundation of those early years?  Frankly the faith that I had built on, largely came from the appreciation, gratitude, of the the sheltering, God, and God's people showered upon me  as a kid and they were just too wonderful to be torn apart and destroyed. Too much light isn't always good.

Therein lies my values, my beliefs . Therein lies that firm direction which had lead me to God and I would like it to remain steady, till at last I sit and enjoy the serenity of a cosy sunset, trusting fully  that His presence lead me safely home. .

Musing on the picture of ' language', My say.

Language is Power,Culture. Language is politics, warfare. Language is also communication, relationship and identity.Then we have body language. What others read of your body movement and what you intend others to read.

 It is pretty huge . Sounds complicated? As I reflected on the powers of language , I discovered its depth and immensity, which is astounding.  Language is a huge ball game, swirling firmly on the axils of the universe. It is the Universe, what it speaks.It is rich in agendas, it has motives, yet the heart and soul. It is playful, it is harsh-it is very, very fluid. As ,Jacques Derrida's puts it plainly,in his  Differance", it has the  ability to 'defer' and 'differ' , a constant flow of  fluidity.

Like .  the tongue, language is capable of inflating and deflating. Reflective of many aspects. It  flexes, rolls and dances in many angles, modes and directions. It is never static, but creates a chain of images, of different meanings and definitions where situations, circumstance, environment, identity, culture  and nationality has relevance. What is he saying? Yes, he said that, but what is he actually trying to convey? In what situation? Are you sure you fully understood what he's saying?Do you know that in a different culture,  images and representation completely differs????There is the  top, but  the surface comes with massive depth of the hidden and the beneath to explore, reflect, discover and discern. However, the conclusion is still subjective. Your understanding and perceptive is unique to yourself and may not reflect that of others.The words may be very structured and solid, but what if it is applied to some other subject or scenario??

As I see it,  language is very much associated with the tongue and the mind.. It rolls what you think-a reflection of your thoughts. The utterances are clearly a product of the mind. Sweet thoughts, give rise to honeyed words. For instance in the exchange of  endearment between lovers, the words sounds musical to the ears and it intoxicates both parties.Emotive adrenaline surges and the bonds tightens.  A mother's cooing and gentle  touch of her child, is a message of 'love'.The child understands and is receptive.

When you negotiate something, could be as simple as getting a child to eat his vegetables or the other end -the big POW wow corporate game.  The principle is the same-the how to of  'persuasion' in your favour, is put into full play. You activate appropriate power words and language to action the intricate workings of your mind-your plans . You formulate, structure those plans into  the language your mind deduce as capable of bringing in the comprehension of the other party/parties

In my everyday language,  I would term it as-the mind plots and schemes, analyse the 'problem' and then the thought about  'solution'  flows out with the agenda and the purpose, carefully crafted  into the comprehensible language, understood by the other party. If he is a child, the application of child language-simple and easily understood. If he is an adult, more affluent language, applied into the subject matter. All, according to the level and  comprehension of the person/persons receiving the message.

In persuasion,words are skilfully played to win over,or break down the resistance level. The mind politicise, language presents the picture,speaks  and projects the message. Whether you manage to win over a person or not, depends on how well, you have structured and packaged your message that it sounds right and beneficial to the other party-that he/she finds it easy to swallow, digest , thus accept.. Last night, I almost choked on a piece of delicious chicken meat. It got lodged at the throat, because it was too big and not tender enough. Nice and delicious does not mean, it could be swallowed whole. It has to be in the correct size and cooked well, for the easy bite and the swallow.

To be continued.....