At and in the beginning... love-birds can't have enough of each other...it was kisses, kisses & kisses., everyday..After marriage...when the kids come...attention became divided between children and spouse..that's still healthy even if the kissing became very much less. As the days and years passed by....they'll say -you're already mine and I yours...we see each other everyday...what's there to chat about anymore..... Pillow talk??? Huh??What's that?? Working day tomorrow lah...let's just sleep ....
When the little ones have grown and flown the nest....come wrinkles and the sagging flesh...Do I know you -Ah man,? Ah woman ? and they pass the days and years sitting far apart and not a word of endearment between them. Aiyah! Can't stand that old @!&!! . and yet once upon a spring..they could not have enough of each other!! Thirty years ago, a couple of my friends used to eat from the same bowl or plate......but now thirty years down the road...the glue had lost its stickiness, the door-unhinged. What I hear are more .. Yucks! So unhygienic- get your own plate ah!
What got YT musing??? Well, a religious friend briefly touched on this subject but that was enough to set off a long train of thoughts!!
You see such happenings around you...everyday..everywhere and that's one of the main causes of depression among the aged...lack of emotional love and support. People don't speak to them any more...people don't listen to them any more....you know, as equals. It's more like I talk and you listen!!. Some may be staying with their loved ones....but they are left very much on their own, confined to the shadows........it's like,water, water everywhere but not a drop to drink. Their voices ceased to be heard....conversation becomes a tip toe...And they say the old are sensitive....Does familiarity really breeds contempt? Does financial dependency lose you, the respect and honour of your loved ones and the people in your circle?? Hei, age is very fair...it will catch up with you and pounce upon you , before you know it.....it surely will.. And Guys... remember the words of filial piety....."when I was young, you held my hand, now than you are old, let me hold your hand!"
YT had personally seen - high flyers of once upon a time..reduced to heaps of despondency...because they feel alienated by family and society...and it's all because...age caught up with them and their usefulness and functionality becomes a question...
YT says, it's a bloody shame..such situation arises, time could cast spider webs over passion, turning it cold......feelings change and appreciation becomes a novelty... a rarity. That's why when she sees old couples, still lovingly holding hands and sharing a plate of fried noodles together, or whatever, ...she literally stopped and stared...What beauty! Awesome!That's what marriage is all about, companionship, care, emotional support, love .....in youth and in age..in sickness and pain, when wrinkles sets in and the teeth are all gone, (yes, someone just told me...when eye sight grows dimmed and the hearing is half gone) ...you still see love, you still whisper sweet nothings into each other's ears, and your eyes still glow at the sight of each other...Talk about endangered species!!
Something to chew and consider: To those concerned -Get out there and find something to do, get your own circle of friends who are pro-you and understand you! Despair not, we still have treasures around, couples who lovingly accompany each other right into the sunset. About the wallpapers and being confined to the shadows?? Again don't sit around and allow yourself to be wallpapered and never seen or heard of again! Get into the act...make use of whatever talents you have -to bring visibility and voice back into your life..even if it is through volunteer work. Usefulness and function-ability translates and places you into the category of needed, required, and sought after.For many people, if not all, that is what gives them sanity,meaning and satisfaction in life's living.
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