Questions, Questions, Questions!!!

I'm on a continued education path...my version of life long learning..frankly, it rejuvenates me, I love the sound of new words, knowledge, the message, the concepts, and what they represents. I go Goo Ga Ga over educationalists who have a way and skill of  words debunking the myths taught by Grandmas and Grandpas  that the  mirror projects only  one image. No sir, it  actually comes out in an explosion of  fireworks!!!

I could just live in  Peter Pan's world of  words, magic  and new insights alone,  venturing into  "Alice's " turf..but somewhere along the trail a drum of awakening is beating...should I persist in my drunken state or take a round about turn and join the  Fool.in his adventures But on more realistic paths???I could almost hear the voice of reasoning asking, what is realistic, what is unrealistic...is anything realistic??

My life is on hold, I chose to live on morsels for a taste of the literary world...the learning and the empowerment...I cold storaged travel plans, pilgrimages, which at this creeping shadow of sunset, I should really  focus, really indulged....I shun company, my friends for  self imposed  isolation..the chase after Paper..I love being with friends-really......their laughters and smiles, liven me...and yet...where is the mind and inner longings leading me??

I look for answers; as my lecturer would say.."zen" over it....Both sides of the fence is temporal...the paper and the human interaction. It would be great to be where the crowd is.....and yet how wonderful..the decorations that adorns...

The cares of the world, it crushes me...it laughs at me....It questions me and pokes fun at me......The haze..Lord..I cannot see ahead of me.....should I persist in this path or should I slip into the comforts of the shadows to inhale the fragrance of  yellow roses, I so deserve and then when the call comes, leave without a trace???