Clothes

Clothes does change a person's appearance.  I chanced upon a friend  yesterday. He was with his twin and their friend. Now this person is always critical of his appearance - goodness know why. Yesterday, that person  was in something entirely different. A darker shade apparel , much , much darker than the norm. I almost stopped in my tracks. The transformation was dramatic.Clothes does make an entirely different person out of you.

Those days when I used to cook everyday and marketing was a  weekly chore, I used to wear faded jeans ,  house clothes and Japanese slippers to the wet market. One look at my clothings, fishmongers and traders would automatically give me a discount. One day, I wanted some "good " fish which was also expensive because I was having friends over for lunch. My fishmonger "friend" advised, "Ah Moi" that fish is very expensive. Why don't you try something else, look this fish not so popular, but equally as good and it is also very much cheaper."  And believe me, what he recommended was great! You see? Being appropriately attired for the market place, get you the best deals.  "Towkay Sohs" in their fine clothes and street shoes automatically gets slaughtered.

Now if I were to wear , the same worn out  clothes and walk into a high end fashion shop, they would probably give me a dirty  look and prevent me from touching their clothes. "Aiyah, these clothes are expensive, high end product! They are absolutely out of your reach! Go further down the road, there're  discount stores down there." Then they would probably shoo me out of the store and slam the door in my face.

Dress better!! Wear clothes that suit you!

Clothes have a way of adding or minusing  your worth  in the eyes and  mind of  others. Not only are perception formed,  of your worth, but it also adds a valuable cosmetic touch to your appearance. People, whose jobs are in full glare of the public eye are always advised to dress well. Impression is important, and impression sells. There is power in dressing. Clothes are tools that carry you far in a snobbish and appearance conscious society who judge individuals through outward appearance.

Me? I love being casual and I dress casual. I'm most comfortable in casual, girl next door  appearance, less stressful. . But you young people out there, dress the part and appropriately for the occasion -it does get you a lot more respect and welcome.

Obstacles

Everyone faces obstacles. It is how you look at obstacles that makes a difference. Recently, I did not make it up THE ship bound for a dream destination and I was totally shattered. It surprises me how that obstacle affected me. I mopped around for weeks. I teared at the slightest thing. I was depressed, yes, I hated the whole wide world and the people in it.

A couple of weeks later,  a light entered my darkened world. Awakening words from a certain charismatic religious.  A  little rattle on my closed shutter -it sprang up and the sun beamed in  again.

At that point of time, I saw those obstacles as a humongous mountain, which blocks me and left me marooned , desolate at that point of No entry. I wanted to cross to the other side but all I saw were slabs of rocks. Disappointment, anger and self pity  automatically slammed down the shutters and I went into deep mourning.

 Now that senses have been restored,  I confront that mountain again. The slabs of rocks, actually provide a foothold for me to climb over the top and down the other side...Further away, there were other little pathways-how could I have missed that? Away from that mountain, were beautiful valleys...all it needed were just a little detour..

You know people, obstacles are there for us to conquer not to cry over. It is there to test our ability to overcome and when you have overcome it,  stand high on the mountain top  and cry out in triumph!  I have conquered!

 Some people find strength and opportunities in obstacles, I find freedom from the slavery of those all consuming  needs which are really not that important to living.There are other more worthwhile pursuits.

In life, you must learn how to make a detours, how to find ways out of situations and move on.  There are many ways to reach a destination. Master your obstacles , do not allow it to conquer you  that it weighs you down. Get it under your feet!

Savour and taste living

What sort of food do you like? I asked my students.Surprisingly some found it a chore to share their likes and their dislikes. What does that mean? People do not enjoy their food and have been eating mechanically-just to fill their stomachs and to survive? Eat to live , without the taste and the flavours? I always thought, we take both the "Eat to live" and "Live to Eat", and lay them on the table. Dissect and discern, then find a balance. Yes? No?

It's like your daily journeying. It's like when you're driving down the highway....you drive with a purpose ,so that you reach your destination in good shape and within your KPI ...no time to stop and watch the colours and the scenes.....you cannot even shout your "hellos"  to the  people in the  cars flashing past you . They are rushing too!

But then, occasionally, you do venture down this lovely countryside road. Or don't you?? You see the rolling hills..you see the lovely scenes, you see stretches of padi fields, their green stalks, bending and swaying gently in the breeze..and you catch your breath! You see flowers, you see age old trees...you feel the peace and tranquillity and all of a sudden, there is this irresistible ripple of joy rising within you! Ah! this is life! And your jaded spirit finds new vitality.


In life, you need to rush around and work your butt out, to achieve your goals-sure  BUT  you also need to take time to relax and savour the beauty of the scenes around you, otherwise, what is life? A continuous chore? What a bore! How stressful!

Food or that drive down life's paths. Folks, take time to savour the deliciousness and their great taste. Find a balance. It brings more joy to the living. It makes welcoming in another day- much more pleasureable!.

Smart phone culture

We were talking about culture the other day. Chinese used to value the teachings of Confucius and the  practice of honour and respect for the elderly, but now? Look around you..even simple politeness like, hello aunty, uncle is no longer fashionable.

Today's culture is text, text, texting..... Their hellos and good manners are directed at their Ipad, Iphone, Smart phone, and not the people in their lives. How many could sit down for an intimate  evening meal without the interference of a third person-your darling smart phone??

The other day, I saw a mother with a young boy (presumably her son)  of perhaps 7-8 years old, having lunch at one of the eateries, I frequent. I watched as she touched and caress her smartphone, while her young son, waited patiently for the food to arrive, not a word was exchanged between them. Remember the days when mothers would cuddle the young children who sit next to them and they would whisper and laugh?? Meals out  were always such fun! 

If the parents play around with their smart devices and ignore their children,  naturally the children will follow suit. They watch, they observe,they learn and a new culture is born. 

By the time, they are in their teens and adulthood that adoration for smart devices would be so grounded in them, that relationship, respect and honour for their elders would have long vanished. That culture is started by parents and they complain, their children do not speak to them. Who set the trend in the first place? 

Basic munch on the competition word.

Competition- a social disease or a growth catalyst?

Those little "toyols" or monsters  are everywhere-- in your homes, your office, even in the classroom. There is this urge within every person to shine, to excel, to out-speak, outdo  the other. In the process, you trample on others in your bid to grab the gold medal. That is the natural human tendency. Fortunately or unfortunately?

Every environment is laced with the spirit of competitiveness.So is it good or bad? I ask this question as a form of verbal survey and the response was-yes and no. In the corporate world where you need to climb up the ladder of success, it was a resounding YES, because in those environments, if you do not have that spark in you, you are dead wood , no action and you hinder your own achievements.

But in cordial surroundings,where the emphasis is on relationship,  my sources said, it should be toned down to harmonious level. In such environment, the spirit of sharing and compromise and the element of caring becomes the guest of honour. So what environments? Relationship ,Home, families, religious surroundings , friendship tufts - these are the most popular choices, but even then..you still get rivalry in subtle ways, for instance siblings rivalry.

So, it appears the competitive spirit present in every  individuals cannot be completely eradicated. It can only be quieten in favour of more virtuous acts. Gist is,career- if you want to progress and move up, make sure you outrun the others, with good output, but if your target is unity and solidarity, then  focus on building up the care and love relationship instead. Put a big X across the competition word and focus on harmony instead.